PBP-Drinking Magic

This is a concept that I got from some deities.

It is a simple concept in which you use magic while drinking… Apparently the alcohal allows you to do more somehow. Though there is a draw back… if you mess up, the magic and energies that you have built up go nuts and most likely will explode.

So despite being a simple concept you still have to have a strong control of magic even in an intoxicated state.

This is something that I would love to try(under watchful eyes of course) when I turn 21.

Last night’s lessons

Last night Freyja told me to do something that was unthinkable.. She told me to fight her.
She was dressed in full battle regalia wit a boar spear in one hand an a shield on the other. She was angry at something that I had done. Her first strikes almost killed me. I remember them well. First an overhead, one handed strike using the length of the spear to attack at a distance. I blocked it by jumping back. The second was a thrust where she let her hand slide down the length of the spear, catching it at the butt of the weapon. This one scratched my side. The third was a spin that caught me on my cheek. After these three attacks she stepped in close with the spear at my heart.
Glaring she said, “fight me and defend yourself or you will die.”

I was crying. I didn’t want to fight her. I wanted to curl up and be left alone, but still she pressed on. After avoiding and evading for a while to get let my mind go numb and fight without cause or restraint, something clicked. Something dark, vile, and all together unpleasant woke up inside me. Before I had time to push it down, it erupted and covered me in a sludge of shadows. I am vaguely aware of what happened next. I remember shouts of “How could you?” and “Why me?” I remember every time I felt crushed, every time I felt scared, and every time I felt alone. And then the most shocking one came.
I saw two from the darkness. Both are women that I love. One I have never courted, the other I did. The one that I courted I looked at her and screamed. and I screamed and screamed… And I let out all of my anger for what she has said to me, for what she has said behind my back.
At the other, I looked and just asked “why?” before I felt my mind split open by a spear.

I woke up to Nyx holding me and speaking to me in what I though was spanish. It was probably latin but at that point I was so exhausted that I couldn’t tell. I closed my eyes again and woke up with Nyx holding me up, Hades off to the right, Set off on the left, and in front of me was Freyja and a dragon that I call Gima.

I looked at Freyja and hoarsely asked “Why?”

“Because,” She said, “If you lock your heartache up and push down your tears like you do by nature, then you will never grow, you will never get stronger, and you will die. We don’t want you to die. And I won’t let you feel heart ache over someone that I promised you.”

The dragon spoke next.”To be unfettered by the problems of the past and to see the merry things in the world all while selflessly working to help those around you. That is when you will know peace and that is when happiness will be given to you. Support your family, guard your land, and respect all things that have come before you. Follow those three things and good shall come your way. Forget one, and your life will be a harsh one. And never let the bad in life stop you.”
I know that I have lots of personal issues but I will try to follow this advice. It will be hard because I don’t deal with heart break well but I will try to follow it.

My PTSD *Graphic content warning*

Earlier today I had a nightmare when I took a nap. Someone had me repeat the nightmare to them and tried to do a dream reading of it. Honestly I would have believed it if it wasn’t for the fact that I knew where this nightmare spawned from. The fact is that I have PTSD about sleeping.

It started at the end of my 8th grade year. I started having nightmares of the most hellish sort. The first dream started with me being pulled down this tunnel of burned, charred, rotted hands that were grabbing me, not to stop me, but to try to free themselves from their own miserable fates. The thing that was grabbing me was a demon. It had grey scales all over its body, black spikes in unnatural places, massive leathery wings and a dog’s skull for its head. It dragged me to this molten red pit filled with rot and decay. The demon then tied me up and began to gleefully whip the flesh from my bones. I could feel every strike, but the pain from this first dream was not the worst pain from the nightmares that followed, nor was it the most sickening thing about the dream. 

It was the screaming of the damned, the rotten smell that made me vomit, and possibly the worse of all, the fact that even when there were times that I should be dead from the torment that I was given, I was kept alive just so that the demons and devils could repeat their sick past time.

I remember the tortures that they inflicted on me. I remember my fingers and toes being ground to stubs and regrown repeatedly as the next infernal contraption was prepared. I remember being stretched until my skin tore and my organs hung over the molten pits of rot. I remember the bugs, birds and vermin eating me alive as I screamed for help in the iron cages of the demons that imprisoned me. 

And what I remember almost as much as my own screaming is the terrible screaming of pain and terror from the other tortured souls. I remember watching, sick to my stomach and crying, as a pregnant woman was torn open by a vile wyrm and had her baby, a boy, ripped from her womb. I remember a man trying to kill himself repeatedly as a demoness raped him and used him for her pleasure. I remember more… Many more that make me sick to even think about. And I remember the screaming… Gods I remember the screaming. And How I wish and beg and pray that I could forget the screaming. 

No Psychic or spiritualist or dream reader could give me solstice from these nightmares. No therapy could ease the memories. And no amount of tiredness could make me sleep until the bright noon sun, where I believe that the demons are weakest but still terrifying enough for rest and sleep to not come in any great amounts. 

My torment went on for too long. For 2 years of my the part of my life that i could still call my childhood, this went on for. Now 6 years of being afraid to sleep out of fear of remembering such hellish nights have past since the start of the nightmares.

And Still I pray and beg for the lingering torment to stop. And still I cry when I remember the screaming, when I remember the tormented souls that were my companions for 2 years, when I remember the horridness of what happened to me all those years ago.

This is the rape of my childhood. This is the rape of my mind. This is the torture that I must live with through my life. Gods give me strength.

PBP-Differences between Demons and Devils

Ok so this has been bothering me for a long time. Lots of people say that there is no difference between Demons and Devils. The fact is that this is wrong. I am going to do a little compare and contrast between the two. Hopefully this will help some people when it comes to defending them. Mind you this is brief and does not cover everything but it may give you some starting points on what to expect and where to look for protection.

Demons and Devils both are said to make their home in some off-world hell hole. Some people might look at this(and I have had this happen to me) and say “That means that they are the same!”… That is like saying my cat and I are the same species of animal because we live in the same house. It just doesn’t work that way.

One of the things that I have noticed is that Demons and Devils have very different ways of coming into existence, both of which have what I refer to as a “Pokemon style evolve system”

Demons can come from anything that has become tainted by evil and darkness and even chaos when it comes to the Egyptians. This can include nature spirits, men, gods, even the land its self. This is very much an over time process that they gradually become more and more evil until said being is a demon.

Devils on the other hand have one definite source. Angels. From what I have learned, it works like this: An angel that falls from gods grace by doing an evil act will still do things in the name of god, and after a while of continuous punishment they begin to resent the very god that they use to love and worship and thus work in spite of him, thus becoming devils.

Another difference is how you protect yourself from them. The best way is to avoid them at all costs to begin with, but lets face it, that is damn near impossible. Both can be countered with holy water from any religion but not from any symbol from any religion. For example: Devils are best countered with an angel symbol, the crusifix(but not a cross because it does not bare the body of Christ) or rosaries. Demons however vary. A catholic demon will be effected by the same things as a devil, but an Oni might shrug it off. There are many different religions and almost all of them have demons, and only the ones that follow God really have Devils. So just remember, Religion matters.

Now to tie up some loose ends. Like the Corruption of Chaos from Egyptian mythology. Some might think that this is a way to explain what happened to Set. There are two problems that I see with that theory.. One is that he is not evil or bad or even tainted(kinda hard to be tainted from yourself if you know what I mean) and two is that him going “Evil” against  Isis, Horus, and Osiris is more of a revenge story than anything, but I will cover that when I use him for my “s”.
Also none of this info is 100% accurate because I am still learning about it. I honestly just put it as I saw it.