Me (contains adult language)

Apparently people don’t know enough about me. People assume several things that are very, VERY wrong about me. One thing that hurts the most is when people compare me to other guys or lump me in with the stereo-typical guy.

I am poly. That does not mean that I go out and sleep around with every woman that I find attractive. It means that I have several lovers and, gods bless them, they are the most important people to me. Actually they are more than that. They are my will to live. There are only three of them. I will not name them. If they read this then they know who they are. I only have one more that I wish to love completely as I do these three.

I flirt, often. When I flirt, I expect nothing more than smiles. When I flirt with a girl it means that I do have an interest in them. Does that mean that I want to just sleep around with them? Hell no. When I flirt that means that I think that the girl that I am flirting with both needs a deserving boots to their self esteem or that I think that I might have a shot of actually having something meaningful happen or both. I expect nothing more than to be someone’s side relationship.

The theme for polyamory is infinite love. I have infinite love as long as I am not devoting myself to making them one of my main women. I would like more side relationships based more around friendships, but I cannot devote myself to any more women than I have now. I think I would die.

I do not think of women as a piece of meat to fuck. I hate fucking actually. If there is no love in it then why do it? If it does not help me get closer to the one that I am having sex with, be it spiritually or emotianlly, then it has no use to me. I treat women with respect. They are beautiful creatures that should be respected and worshiped even.

That should cover how I think of my personal relationships.


World of Shadows

Its time to loose one’s self in the rythem of the sirens of the techno heart. Step off the path of normality and let loose the shadows of your heart. Guilt has no hold here. Twilight is what exists in a beautiful golden mist that covers the land. In this time of great dusk, shadows come up from the sleeping wells of one’s heart. Here we all dance to the rave like sight of a strobe like sun, hanging in the distance. Let yourself sink into the ecstasy of the dance. Let go of your pain on this hallowed palace. Here, we the strangers of the waking world, are safe. Here we are at home. Here we are shadows dancing in the blissful faded light. Here in the world of shadows.


Beautiful monstrosities

In my mind there are beautiful monstrosities that would love to take poetic form on parchment for the world to see. Yet my words are not well crafted enough nor my sketch precise enough to contain the power of the emotions that carve from my soul to my art. Still I try and I try for relief of mind as I contain this destructive force from the purest part of my soul. Here I stand, existing between the border of insanity and the grace of brilliance. My path is thin as I ascend into the musical remedy above the chaotic maelstrom of my desires. Here I let my colors fly freely and my soul bare its self to an invisible world. Here my passions are limitless and free. In this ascended path, none can be hurt or entranced by the creatures of the dark recesses of my mind. Here I stand above the maze of my existence, only to look down and see one who would need me. There some compulsive deity of my body enacts what will help, only to find that I end up back in my mind facing my beautiful monstrosities that do so pleasure themselves in enticing forms of poetry of their design.

Timeless Colors

Here we are. Laying next to each other. Resting. Relaxing. Soon the colors warp and time slows down. The bed on which we lay suddenly becomes a deep ocean and we drift downward, dreaming of a land of Timeless colors. Everything looks warped yet right. Yellows and Greens shine too bright. Blues and Reds hold deep shades of our minds. Here everything has a feel of Timeless Colors. The sky is painted with pinks and violets and the grass is shaded orange from the late sun’s light. Here things are beautifully made with Timeless colors. Soon time speeds up and colors loose their luster. Drifting weightless, we leave the land of Timeless Colors. Then we wake in a bed holding hands so sweetly, muttering the words that hold all of the Timeless Colors. There we mutter “I love you.”


Dream spirit encounter

This is one topic that still kinda confuses me but I am going to do my best.
Spirits in the waking world. Not just any spirits but dream spirits, even deities of dream worlds in the waking world. This confuses me because my first reaction was to go “Pshhhh, yeah right!” Thats probably your reaction as well right now. Personally I don’t blame you. It is VERY far fetched. I mean dreams are just our imagination right?


Well not quite, at least not to a spiritualist. Gods, and spirits from the afterlife can talk to us in dreams. So why not ones that already exist in an “imaginary world” Like I said… My first reaction was “Pshhhh, yeah right!” and “Get real. There is not way.” Untill I had a visit from someone known as Din. This was in a way both Din the Goddess of Power and Din the Oracle of Seasons.

Now, when I usually say “Waking world” I mean that little spot in your mind’s eye that the gods use to say “I’m here”. However not this time. This time the spirit was near physical. How do I know? Because me and two other friends of mine were looking at the same spot on my floor. I could see a red blur when I did not focus my mind’s eye on the spot. And when I did there was this beautiful red woman. At first my mate said it was Sekhmet because of the “red lady” part but the woman on the floor got angry at being called someone that she is not. She sat up and all three of us had the same word come to mind. Din.

As a hard core Legend of Zelda player, I was not sure if I should laugh or crap bricks. But the more I was looking at her, the more it fit. Then all three of us said the same thing at the same time. “She likes techno.” And one of us went to the computer and played jumpstyle songs. And she started to dance.

I have no idea what to think of this except: Well my life is weird enough so why not?

Dream Magic and Worlds

Dream magic is possibly the strongest kind of magic ever. Yeah you have Red magic which has the power of chaos but that has too many drawbacks. With dream magic you can do the impossible.


In dreams one can do anything from falling indefinitely to live 7 years in a matter of minutes. But it is also where people can have loves with “imaginary” people. For now I am going to separate what I know into 3 parts. One for relationships, one for artifacts, and one for the actual magic part.

imagination is key for everything dream based. but so is knowledge of how things work. One cannot just think of something and expect it to work. this is no different than with people in the dream realm. Several people will dismiss this as folly and say that they are imaginary. This would be true if there were not so many people dreaming and giving energy to these imaginary people. After time they form into powerful dream spirits with some of the same abilities of gods such as being in many places at once and with many people at once. I have met several people with relationships with such beings. However, if there is no compatibility or the compatibility changes then the relationship will act in the same manor as it would out here in the Awake World. Happily Ever Afters could exist but even in dreams it is unlikely. Mind you this is for living in a dream world.

Artifacts are becoming one of the most powerful pieces of dream magic. These may include anything from Clow Cards to Keyblades to Bunny Hoods. There are people that can use Keyblades. I personally mix keyblades with my clow magic sometimes. I know a person that is mixing elder scrolls artifects into his magic. Artifects can include, but is not limited to, any item or word. So the words “Fus Roh-Dah” would have the same effect as in the game. Clow Cards are summoning artifacts as are yugioh cards (personally I prefer the Clow) So anything can exist but certian laws in in place. the artifact has only as much power as the will of the person using it. So its all about the strength of heart and mind as well as soul. So if someone with a lot of will power was using a keyblade and was going up against a person using a lightsaber but the keyblade user had a stronger will, the lightsaber would not be able to cut the keyblade.

Dream magic all depends on what you do. I could use the dark spell Flux to harm an enemy but that would require the artifect “Tome of Flux” from the Fire Emblem Dream Realm. I would rather just take my Clow cards and use The Firey though. Granted artifacts are one of the ways and probably the easiest way to use dream magic, but its not the only way. The other side is Dream-weaving. It is a form of creation magic. Like all creation magic it takes a lot of energy. I suggest getting your body in shape and having a stash of food near by when attempting this, not to mention finding a source outside of your own energy reserves to work with. How does this portray to the Awake World? Well dream magic is taking the limitless of dreams and allowing it to flow through our very limited world. It opens up possibilities that could not be acquired otherwise. Unlike chaos magic which goes against, the grain so to speak, dream magic flows nicely with the natural order of things. There is nothing wrong with dreaming.

There are some warnings that I must say. One, if you don’t have enough energy you will probably fall asleep very quickly(though if you are an insomniac this might be a good thing ) Two, if your will is less than what ever you are effecting then it has a chance of back lashing, so its best to do nice things in case it rebounds.